Gautham (Goparkyourcar)'s blog - Infinite Pathways

2010-12-06T03:14:00.000-07:00

A friendship is more than an acquaintance, it is a close bond. A friendship does not mean hanging out with one another or being able to have fun with one another (although this is often the case). It is accepting one another as a family and looking out for one another.

I feel that people have this inbuilt notion that they must be able to form friendships with individuals of all walk and trades in order to be perceived as "good" person. It's as if not being able to form a friendship with a person or group of persons makes you morally flawed or even "racist." I certainly feel that it would be wonderful if everyone in this world could become friends with one another, and I am definitely not denying that this be an impossible goal. Rather, such a goal takes time and patience to achieve and we cannot force its arrival by forcing friendship itself. Instead, this friendship must arise simply as a by-product of our society's capability to function as a unit.

Finding a friend is akin in many ways to how people find their "special other." Every now and then, you might get a an individual who is capable and willing to find virtually anyone as a suitable spouse, however one's inability to do this is not a flaw but a difference. Similarly, if you cannot make a friend with any given person, this does not make you a lesser person... just a different person.

Luckily for us, friendship is not a requirement for society to function as unit. Just as all that is needed for two objects to remain together is that they not repel, all that is required for society to function as a unit is that they remain, at the very LEAST, neutral and indifferent. And behold, we have yet to even achieve this most minute stepping-stone as our society is still filled with the repulsive forces of hate, mistrust, and dishonesty.

As such I do not believe it important that we all strive to make friends with one another as two opposite poles forced together will undoubtedly fly apart at the first given opportunity. What we must do, instead, is strive to simply understand and respect each other. We must learn to accept our differences and a the very least, get rid of the hate that exists between us. We must achieve, at the very LEAST, a point of neutrality between us. It is my belief, that if we can achieve this, then with time and patience, a mutual friendship between one another can arise as a by-product. Ultimately, the value I feel that society needs is acceptance.

I feel that while friendship definitely brings people together, the fact that finding it in its purest is so rare it leads to exclusion. Those who are not part of a given close-knit group of friends, will find it awkward to be around them. Getting to the crux of the situation, in order to solve this problem, this person must not find it necessary to be a friend in order to function with a group of people. He/she must feel comfortable working with them as an acquaintance and from this comfort a friendship will likely grow.

Next time you go out with a group of your close-knit friends, invite an acquaintance, now say to this acquaintance "you're not a friend, but good to see you here." Surely, most people will be taken aback.
Ideally, they would understand this is indeed the situation, and it implies no negative connotation whatsoever,
but this is rarely the case.

How do we fix this is the question...

My Heart is the Watermelon

2009-07-11T19:11:00.003-07:00

My heart is a watermelon for you to cut,
A piece for me, A piece for you,
The unity of division that does ensue,
Is all the beauty my heart holds true.

-Gautham Gopakumar 2009

Healing from the Heart (of society)...

2008-08-07T22:04:00.016-07:00

Today, more than most days, I see that somethings you just have to let come to you. Call it laziness, but, today, more than most days, I see what people mean when they say when you seek something, you miss all things special you weren't seeking for in the first place. . . and this works on so many different levels. There are even times when you just got to allow those things you want least to come to you.... to come to you... This is because chances are that you have avoided everything you wanted to avoid all your life... but then once something that you have avoided all your life hits you, it envelopes you in a veil of illumination. It's refreshing and you have that much a wider perception of the world around you.

I want to dedicate this blog post to the RAs that have been w/ us these past month. Thanks to them, I have found this wider perception.

It was not a physical thing I was trying to avoid... It wasn't some evil eye of Sauron... It wasn't my parents. It wasn't even an emotion, but it was emotion itself. I was trying to avoid emotion and over it I cast such a mask of fake emotion that it wasn't even translucent in my eyes. I'll start at the beginning.

I've been living up here at the University of Colorado at Boulder campus for a month now, I've been home only once since July 5th, and it's August 7th now. I am up here as part of a research program, and w/ me are 17 other people and 3 RAs. These past weeks we have gotten to be really good friends. For those of you who are here (were there) with me, you know what's coming...

The bottom line is that some people in the group were rumored of drinking (which was strictly forbidden). As a result, the entire group was forced into complete lockdown. What's a little drinking I thought... I know realize how selfish, how naive, how utterely ignorant I was... The RAs were devastated. "The world is selfish..." one of the RAs said. Despite this seemingly negative perspective, his viewpoint was genuinely optimistic to the point of idealistic. He said his goal in life was to do everything in his power to reverse this selfishness/dishonesty/distrust in the world. He said this is why he became an RA, and after 4 weeks of his effort to eliminate such dishonesty/distrust he was faced with just that. Honesty and distrust.

I do not have anything against those people who did drink. I do not have anything against those that let the RAs know it was going on. I do not have anything against breaking the rules from time to time. Why? Because it's not about the drinking, it's not even about the breaking of rules... it's about society, selfishness, distrust, and dishonesty. How many of us walk w/ masks over our true identity, how many of us walk w/ masks over our true emotions, to how many of us is life a walk of deceit and dishonesty. How many of us are victims to our own deceit. I know I have often convinced myself of something far from the truth for the sake of just getting on w/ life happily. But this "happy" continuation of life is simply fake-emotion: your mind masking your sould, your mind masking your heart... however you look upon it.

In our group, it was this distrust and dishonesty that almost tore apart what had become a close-knit family. It was the distrust and dishonesty that slowly etched away at the heart of the family, but we never let it show on the outside. What saved us from the certain fate of breaking apart was honesty and a renewed hope for trust. A simple hour spent w/ everyone, where we all just came out and said flat out what we felt... This was what I was avoiding all along, I was avoiding this emotion... but it is this emotion that has healed us and that has provided a sense of refreshment to the entire group.

It makes you think, Franklin was right all along. It's not about the drinking, it's the realization that society is indeed selfish to an extent... a selfishness created by distrust and dishonesty that constantly eats away at the heart of it. It's the hope for healing society w/ honesty and trust.

Greetings fellow travellers. . .

2008-07-01T20:18:00.000-07:00

Hello to myself and to all who read,

Reality and life provide us w/ millions of opportunities every second. Every instant of our existence in this universe is filled with choice and thus, we find ourselves traveling along a one-way road we hope to call "progress." With every choice, this road branches, and at anytime you may stop to look behind and see a metropolis of possibilities. Some of these roads intersect and some lead on to distant horizons never to be seen again. You are not sure what experiences remain hidden on these untraveled roads, however, one thing is certain: the scope of these pathways are infinite. Your life and existence is created through the choices you make, the pathways you travel... Therefore, to me... there is no life, no existence when one remains stagnant and motion-less amongst these branching pathways. To me, life and existence is about exploring this metropolis of infinite pathways. . .

and thus, I have named this blog, fittingly "infinite pathways." I hope to use it as a tool of exploration. The very nature of pathways is that they are meant for travelers, so I invite all who read this blog to become fellow travelers along these infinite pathways and provide your perspectives and comments :)

Finally, I remember back in junior year ( I believe) of high school, I drew up a picture that I myself couldn't quite describe. Many times I have tried to place myself in the frame of mind I was when I first drew it in chem class... trying to find a fitting name of it. I believe now, when I am about to enter freshman year of college at CU Boulder, I finally have a fitting name for it... I would like to call it "Infinite Pathways" by Gautham Gopakumar... And in the spirit of my first blog, in the spirit of infinite pathways, I would like to present it here. . . I present to you "Infinite Pathways" . . .